“When you’re curious, you find lots of interesting things to do.” – Walt Disney
Every fall I hear about pumpkin spice lattes. That, plus flannel, house décor, and Halloween fill every advertisement, song, and parody in view. Despite this, I’ve made it a number of years without a pumpkin spice latte.
Fall is here, so today I decided to do it. I ordered a pumpkin spice latte and wondered if I would become the person in the commercial, suddenly embracing orange pumpkin season without holding back. Maybe that could be a good thing.
I should start by saying I don’t love coffee. I wish I did, but I mostly taste bitterness and have to add a full cup of caramel to compensate. I also don’t love pumpkin. With pumpkin, I make three exceptions: 1- super yummy pumpkin bread; 2-once a year with Thanksgiving pie; and, 3- I’ll give it a go for Halloween when I’m all for carving some deranged face into a perfectly good fruit/vegetable. But other than that, No.
This was the year; I was going to try it.
I’m sorry to disappoint some pumpkin loving readers hoping I would see the light, but the latte was terrible. Like I can’t take another sip, drank ice water from the tap, and chewed on my son’s left-over French toast to get the taste out of my mouth terrible.
Sometimes this is just how life is. We hear over and over about ideas, experiences, or products, and eventually they make it into our psyche. We become curious and wonder about it. Even if we’re fairly sure it’s not going to live up to the hype for us personally, we wonder if we’re missing out on something.
I recently learned Americans alone spend half a billion dollars on all things pumpkin in the fall. Starbucks reported that 20 million pumpkin spice lattes are sold annually (feel free to do the math on those times at least $5 a cup).
The numbers of pumpkin spice loving people made me question: why is it that some of us love something so deeply and others can't stand it? Then the next, deeper question set in. Over the years I've watched how a small moment like that can make people, especially my students, question themselves. Sometimes it even triggers a feeling of isolation. Why is that? Well, I think we’re all constantly looking for community and a place of belonging. When we share a common "like", it makes us feel connected. Deep down, we know it’s more complicated than liking the same food, movies, music, or activities...but when those things do line up, it can feel as if we found a piece of not only ourselves but where we might fit --a hope of shared "like" that grows into freindship.
So, how do we deal with the light hearted questions, like What do we do with the new things? or Should I try this new thing? How about the deeper questions, like How do I connect with people? and What do I do when something doesn't work out?
I like put all those expirements into my 5ish processing box. This box gives me permission to try mini adventures without deeper thought. I label these experiments "A 5ish moment" in my brain --something that only takes 5ish dollars, 5ish minutes, or 5ish questions.
For only 5 dollars, I will no longer wonder if I like pumpkin spice lattes. I have answered the question of if I’m missing what billions of dollars in marketing says I should love. There is freedom in that.
Lean into the 5ish moments and answer questions in life. Don’t be afraid to try new things. And don’t give that try a second thought. Answer the question and clear it from your brain space. Then share about it. Connect with others by telling a funny, real story. Your story will bring freedom and fun to them too.
If you’re wondering what qualifies as a 5ish, just try to stay away from anything that will dismember you, land you in jail, or require you to permanently change your identity. Some things in life are not as easy to spit out, dump in the sink, and move on. Stick to the fun, mini questions.
But for all those little things, do the 5ish. You will find it saves you time in the long run, and more importantly, answer a question that allows you to become more fully you. Discover if you like jazz by sitting and listening to the street musicians. Say yes to a volunteering opportunity to help little kids at field day or bringing field day to a retirement community. Sit by the new person or simply ask how the kid is doing. Go to a mentor and start with “I have a question about...”. Find a random style or cut and try wearing it for a day.
After my disastrous sip, I played another 5ish game. Curiosity led me downstairs to find my husband where I asked him to try it. Heh heh. With a skeptical look in his eyes, he did so (Thanks babe!). And I watched his face pucker and say, “Ugh, that is so disgusting.” I just laughed because that is the awesome wife he married.
Not only do 5ish moments help you learn more about who you are, but they also help you understand the people around you. We had a moment of connection over how much we both disliked pumpkin spice lattes. If he would have liked it, well great, that helps me learn a little more about him too. And he could have all future pumpkin things, except, of course, the yummy pumkin bread.
5ish moments help us answer life's questions. About ourselves, family, and friends. About likes and dislikes. About relationships. From something as simple as ‘do I like the chips my friend had in their kindergarten lunch’ to ‘do I enjoy humidity or not’? these answers build and stack on top of each other to help us make bigger decisions in our future. How? They keep you curious...and curious people keep growing, learning, and laughing. They build stories and connections which strengthen our communities. And they practice failure, because 5ish does not come with guarantees and neither does life.
Last confession: I also bought vanilla chai. No, it's not cheating. It’s called a backup plan. I knew I wanted something warm and cozy to drink that day. So having a backup plan helps eliminate regret. If that burrito tastes terrible, then have a favorite packet of Raman at home. If the friend doesn’t answer, leave a message, or if they do and it’s not great, call another friend right after. If the dishes you did go unnoticed...well you saved yourself from random bacterial growth either way.
Lean into the 5ish. Enjoy life and people and figure out who you are when it comes to all the little things. Answer as many of those questions – the 5ish questions—that you can and continue moving and growing forward. Practice learning through the freedom and ambiguity that come with life and learn to laugh and grow with it.
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